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​transcripts

The Bridge Part 2 

(Transcript by Etsuko)

​Listen to podcast (Apple)

Listen to podcast (Other)​

(Intro)

-I arrived at Ben’s house and I opened the door and I thought, Oh I’m late, he is going to be waiting there by the computer...

-Tapping my watch  

-Tapping your wrist watch

-Time is money, Abe!

-Buuuuut I saw you sitting on the couch...

-Yes  

-with no shirt...

-Right 

-and you were eating a huge plate of spaghetti!

-mamma mia! That was a nice spaghetti!  

-Yeah!  

-Mmm!

 

(music)

 

♬ Let’s see what Twinkle Star and Scorpion are doing. This is the bridge part 2, to hear the bridge part 1 listen to episode 7♬

 

-What a beautiful day on the bridge sweeping the bridge nice and clean just me and my bridge.  I can go over here… not into the good side but I can put just one little toe.. No, back to my dark side(-_-メ)...sweep,sweep,sweep♪ 

-☆彡Surprised!   

-sweep,sweep,sweep♪   

-Hey! ☆彡Surprised? 

-Ah Hi, can I help you?   

-Aren’t you amazed by the sudden burst of light?

-I couldn’t see any burst of light, I didn’t notice.

-Didn’t you hear the sound of my star light?

-I could hear some birds singing on the good side and people screaming on the bad side but I couldn’t hear any star sound.

-most people see it quite easily

-Anyway, Who am I ?

-Who am I ?  ☆彡I am the light in the darkness! I shine bright for billions of years !! I shoot across the night sky!! I make dreams come true!!  I am Twinkle Staaaarrrrrr!!!

-Sorry, my broom fell down. What was your name again? 

-Are you serious?  

-What do you mean?  

-You didn’t hear what I just said?

-I knew you were saying something but it’s busy job sweeping the bridge!

-do want me to do that whole thing again?    

-alright..     

-very well..

-Maybe I’ll add another blast of star light, Here we go!

 ☆彡I am the light in the darkness! I shine bright full billions of years !! (Oh, Friday!) I shoot across the night sky!! I make dreams come true!! (Hi Friday)  I am Twinkle Star! (How are you old boy?) God damn you!  You know who I am, Scorpion!

-Sorry, Friday just arrived. Oh good boy..   

-Friday! Why hello

-Ahh I remember you..  

-and I remember you..Scorpion

-What your name..twink..?  

-Twinkle Star!  

-Twinkle Star?

-I just told you my full name twice!!

-I wasn't listening I’m sorry

-I am the light in the darkness, I burn for billions of years, I shoot across the night sky, I make dreams come true, I am Twinkle Staaaarrrrr!!!

-Twinkle Star!

-Well, you’re not coming in to the dark side. If that’s your plan.

-Scorpion this whole good side bad side thing it’s rather silly, don't you think?

-I guess it is kind of silly I mean, you’re welcome to hangout on this bridge anytime you like.

-Well, I need to go to the bad side.

- (Whispering) Oh, Friday, settle down. He’s not gonna touch you again

-come on Friday..

-Now listen Twinkle Star, Why don’t you flash and fuck off back to space or wherever you came from, because youre not coming to the dark side

-I just need to pop over to the bad side just for…  just a moment

-Well, what business do you have on the dark side? What reason?

-Why do you care, it’s the BAD side?

-Last time you wouldn’t let me come I just wanted to go shopping and you wouldn’t even let me.  you tried to have sex with my horse  

-I did not, Friday don’t listen to him.. 

-I just wanted to pet your smooth hair, and touch your soft nose, Yes Friday, good boy.. Anyway anyway..   

-Friday, come back!  

-Friday no..   

-Now look he’s gone!

-One day I’ll have that horse…

-Now I have to walk home through the dark streets dangerous people..

-I’ll walk with you, let’s go Scorpion!

-OK, again. Why do you want to come?

-...Scorpion.. It’s no need for this...Remember? we are old friends! Remember that time on the bridge, you and me...

-Yeah, that sucked

-Old memories...   

-That was not fun. That was very inconvenient

-Look scorpion, if you must know…

-It’s just you and me.. Tell me

-I have to return some videos...

-Oh, some videos..

-I rented some videos from the video store…

-Strange because the good side has an excellent video store. They have every happy, family movie..    

-They do, yes.  

-snacks, delicious ice cream..  

-Yes, yes..that’s all very good but..

-Why would you come to the dark side video store?

-Well, you see..the video store on the bad side actually has some... of the videos I like…

-I know the store you are taking about and they only have dark, dirty porn, nothing but porn

-Well, I am sure there are some normal bad videos.

-No, there’s not. It’s 100% porno 

-Scorpion come on, man 

-You rented some porn videos?   

-Well, come on, Scorpion. Don’t say it like that!

-Well, What would you like me to call them?

-Come on! I’m up there shining in the night sky all by myself

-I see

-I get a little bit lonely

-So you decided to watch some porn

-〇✖…I made.. I maybe..I visited the bad side video store and...

-I guess normal stars weren’t enough you wanted some porn stars. Is that right?

-It’s lonely up in the night sky..

-You are sick

-Don’t you understand?

-I do understand

-Please just let me go back and return these videos

-Well, if you can answer my riddle, my tricky question then you can pass into the dark side..(-_-メ)

-Are you ready?

-You are going to ask me some kind of difficult question.. 

-a riddle!  

-a riddle.. 

-a riddle!

-Oh, gosh OK.

-Are you ready?

-Well, all right..

-What can you lose, but never find?

-That’s it?

-That’s it. What can you loose, but never find?

-Think about it.

-Your mind!

-That’s actually a really good answer

-Because you can lose your mind..    

-Yes     

-go crazy..    

-Sure 

-You can never find your mind. That’s not an English expression.

-That’s right. Losing your mind, means going crazy.

-So Yes! I’m correct!!  Off I go!  

-damn you… You solved my riddle with an answer that is pretty good!

-Did you have a different answer?

-I did

-What was your answer ?

-Well, there are many possible answers and your answer was one I didn’t think of… so well done, Star man whatever your name is!

-I have all the intelligence and all the knowledge of billions of years shining in the galaxy

-Right

-So of course! I can solve your simple, scorpion

-...the real answer is....  Your life!  now died!!!   ✖✖ (-_-メ)☆彡☆彡☆彡

-die~ die~ porn star~~!!

-Hyaa Hyaaa

-I Can’t see!..  I can’t see!!  Twinkle man?  Friday?….

 

-Hello Ben

-Hello Abe

-We are rolling

-finally    

-finally  

-We had some speed bumps on the road

-Oh, yes     

-Some hurdles..

-We had many speed bumps  

-Yeah, little inconvenient things that stopped us recording today

-Yes, a speed bump is a bump in the road that prevents you from going fast

-Right

-and you’re driving and it goes bubum bubum…

-You can also say ‘speed bumps’ things that happen unexpectedly that slow you down 

-like using my city computer to record the podcast

-Yes, so we tried to use your computer, we tried three times

-And the old girl just wouldn’t play ball

-She is an old lady and she wasn’t in the mood

-No, She didn’t want to cooperate   

-Yeah, isn't it funny how we always say she or her for vehicles or machines, boats and cars, -computers  

-computers, she’s an old girl..

-Yeah, I think originally it came from boats!

-Yeah, boats are always feminine.   

-Yes!

-So, Do you remember what we were talking about before?

-Yes, I do! I was angry...  

-Oh..  

-Yeah, but now I’ve calmed down a little bit but I’m still angry!  You’re not off the hook, I'm not letting you get away with it

-I’m not off the hook  

-No, you’re not free, I still want to talk to you about something

-OK, so last time at my house..    

-Yes    

-You were late coming over  

-Just… a little bit..a tiny bit late

-So as you said..    

-Yes   

-up to 15min late is acceptable  

-Yes, it’s not good but it’s not too bad

-But more than 15min late...   

-Yeah   

-is unacceptable  

-then you’re in the rude zone

-That’s when it becomes rude  

-Yes, and the other person starts feeling angrier and angrier, Where’s fucking Abe!!   I said.

-Wait, how late were you last time? 

-17min

-There you go!

-Exactly.  Yes, 2min into the rude zone, but Ladies and Gentlemen, my partner, my podcast partner today left me waiting for a full 30min plus

-Maybe a little less than 30min

-Around 30min, well deep deep into the rude zone

-In the rude zone, I apologize..

-Oh, thank you..   

-but let me    

-finally..

-Let me say, I had good reasons to be late   

-Did you really?

-I had 2 good reasons

-I bet they’re both stupid, let’s hear them

-The first reason is because I was waiting for this new beautiful microphone for you to use.

-and I’m using it and it is beautiful it has a nice light on and it looks very stylish and modern

-Thank you, yeah..  

-Yes, so.. OK, That’s a good reason to be late

-I was waiting for the delivery 

-which was… Not on schedule

-No, it was late

-Right, very rare in Japan

-Not my fault

-Not your fault

-I wanted to you to have a nice microphone

-Thank you, OK, now you are turning the tables you are switching it around making me feel guilty, why am I feeling guilty now?  You are the one who commited the crime.

-OK, you are right, because the second reason, I don’t really have an excuse, when I was walking across the bridge I suddenly remember, Oh No!! fuck fuck!, I forgot my puff filters!

-Ah,yeah, the little covers the you put on the microphone to reduce the popping sound when you said ‘P ‘words 

-Yeah, ‘P’s and ‘B’s   -‘P’s and ‘B’s my two favorite, letters ‘P’ and ‘B’

-Peanutbutter sandwich!  

-Yeah, Penis boys

-Anyway, that was completely just my own forgetfulness   

-Yes  

-I have no excuse

-No, excuse? right. so It’s not actually an excuse it's just your brain damage

-I had two reasons

-OK, two reasons? One of them I a good excuse and the other one is ..

-just me being forgetful

-just a stupid reason..  but I forgive you, and speaking of bridges, It’s water under the bridge

-Well, let’s just wait one moment

-OK, all right I'll take back my forgiveness 

-Let me describe what I saw when I arrived

-I don’t think that’s necessary

-I have to describe it because..

-People don’t hear that..    

-Yes,yes..so..    

-Turn off the podcast

-I arrived at Ben’s house and I opened the door and I thought, Oh I’m late, he is going to be waiting there by the computer  

-tapping my watch  

-tapping your wrist watch

-Time is money, Abe!

-Buuuuut I saw you sitting on the couch     

-Yes     

-with no shirt    

-Right 

-You were topless  

-No, shirtless I'm not a stripper

-You were topless   

-OK

-You had no top on     

-breasts out

-Yeah, you bare hairy chest exposed   

-Yes my chest carpet

-and you were eating a huge plate of spaghetti

-mamma mia! That’s a nice spaghetti   

-yeah  

-Um

-You were half naked eating a big plate of spaghetti!

-Well, It’s my house I don’t have to wear a shirt and I can eat spaghetti whenever I like!

-you were slurping up these noodles..

-there’s-a one... 

-there’s-a two...

-in-a my mouth..

-in-a my mouth..

-each one better than the last..

-mamma mia!  That’s-a good spaghetti!

-I’ve done it again!  Nn..ma!

-so after I arrived, I had to wait for you to finish eating your spaghetti naked

-what I’m just gonna put my spaghetti down in the let it cold no one likes cold spaghetti

-well

-no one

-yeah OK, but..   

-agreed?   

-Yes! cold spaghetti is terrible   

-gotcha

-my question is, last time, you said that making me wait was like foreplay 

-yeah, I’m last time, I was eating a pizza, n..that’s a nice pizza! But this time, was spaghetti each time is a different Italian food.. 

-Yes, but I thought you would probably eat before I arrived 

-Yes, I was going to 

-so I made you wait with my forgetfulness and my bringing a nice beautiful mic for you to record with…

-right

-and did you feel like you have to make me wait too? like you want to both people to do foreplay?  

-like revenge? revenge foreplay

-you do me, now I do you

-yeah, it worked out quite well.  and here we are!

-you said before in the last episode   

-yes  

-it’s like conversation sex    

-yes, conversation is sex and the waiting is the foreplay

-No! It’s not...OK, that’s what you said… so… do you have to eat spaghetti naked ?

-I had pants on 

-can’t you do something else?

-what? 

-I don't know anything!

-like eat a sandwich?

-anything!

-is it the food?  is it the spaghetti that’s the problem? or that I didn’t have a shirt on, coz I’ve come to your house plenty of times and you had no shirt on

-yeah, but 

-right? 

-it’s both. It’s slurping up sloppy spaghetti

-it wasn't sloppy. It was a Peperoncino   

-Peperoncino!!

-so it was oily

-right, OK

-yeah, and some fell down in to my chest hair

-yeah, right

-yeah, and it was all oily and garlic on my body..I love it

-gross

-yeah, it’s great! I felt very European

-OK, slurping up oily spaghetti, like, I can’t think of a worse kind a foreplay

-well, everyone’s diffent and Abe, you’ve forgotten something  

-what what?  

-PMA

-Positive Mental Attitude!!

-So Why... Where… what.. what the hell are you talking about?

-you're seing this situation kind of negative ”Oh Ben was eating spaghetti with no shirt”

-No, I wasn’t upset

-No?

-No

-OK

-because I was late, I felt bad

-What should I be doing? Waiting in a suit with a bunch of flowers..Ah Abe!  Welcome to my house, here’s some champagne, take a seat

-maybe ahh, perhaps a fruit platter would be nice

-well, I did give you a banana

-you did

-I did, I gave you a banana and you said, "do you have any green bananas?"

-yeah, I like my bananas to be like hard and young

-yeah, isn’t that bad for your stomach?

-I like young, hard bananas

-OK, fine

-yeah they’re the only ones that satisfy me

-I like soft old yellow bananas..so we’re a bit different that way. 

-yeah we are..

-but we both like bananas

-I like them cold too, I like to refrigerate them

-of course you do. you like everything cold..anyway, you had your banana.  Positive Mental Attitude! We are rolling!

-yeah

-it’s a beautiful day

-and then we start rolling and your computer breaks

-yes,well that’s because I'm poor and my things are old  and janky as we say

-janky

-yeah, unreliable a little be broken

-janky meaning: it’s a machine that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t

-we can't really trust it

-it’s janky

-yes, but I love it and it has sentimental value, not how much money it's worth

-it’s a computer!!

-the memories...

-get a new one!!

-associated with this computer! I've made music on this computer. I've typed things on it

-OK, so this computer had a… you type things on it?..

-Reports!  I've done lots of business on this computer

-wow! Great

-I’m a businessman

-time to do business! check,check,check..I do on my computer, I open the business program and I get down to business, business.com. That’s where you'll find me on line 

-hey, I feel like maybe you actually have never done business on this computer

-I've done dirty business on this computer

-that, I believe

-that you believe

-maybe that’s why you feel sentimental value to your computer

-that’s right. We had a lot of intimate moments together

-OK

-She’s seen me at my worst... 

-OK,OK..

-yeah, I noticed you have something covering the..

-yeah, I have a sticker over the webcam

-yeah  

-yeah because people can hack your webcam these days

-so you're afraid that someone might hack into your computer...

-Yes

-and look at you through your webcam?

-yeah and see me doing my business

-that would be terrible

-that would be horrible. Yeah, and then they have my business secrets and they could use it against me to blackmail on me 

-they steal your business

-yeah

-OK

-scary

-Oh my god

-guys, listeners, cover your webcams because someone is watching you!

-you know, since I started using Apple, Mac, I never worry about getting hacked or getting viruses anymore

-they are more reliable and stable, I agree

-yeah

-yes, but maybe someone is hacking you and you don’t even know coz your webcam is uncovered. so maybe someone is watching you right now..

-alright! come and say hello we now have twitter and instagram

-we are live on twitter we got the gram the instagram we are on facebook

-please come say hello ask a question or suggest a topic

-photos, questions, topics, anything guys is OK. we are looking forward to interacting 

-absolutely

-we want to get to know you

-absolutely

-feel you, touch... you

-Yes,Yes.....No, not touch

-with our mouths, like speaking. Anyway, we wanna get to know you better

-Yes,  come to ‘55 freebird.com’ I'm coming to Nagoya November 7 and November 8

-(choo-choo)here we come the freebird train

-English pronunciation workshop, come and enjoy... 

-sounds great!!

-Come on Chubu!  Let’s go!!

-Wow!! just ah....don't ask him how to pronounce ‘Squirrel’

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