transcripts
The Bridge Part 2
(Transcript by Etsuko)
(Intro)
-I arrived at Ben’s house and I opened the door and I thought, Oh I’m late, he is going to be waiting there by the computer...
-Tapping my watch
-Tapping your wrist watch
-Time is money, Abe!
-Buuuuut I saw you sitting on the couch...
-Yes
-with no shirt...
-Right
-and you were eating a huge plate of spaghetti!
-mamma mia! That was a nice spaghetti!
-Yeah!
-Mmm!
(music)
♬ Let’s see what Twinkle Star and Scorpion are doing. This is the bridge part 2, to hear the bridge part 1 listen to episode 7♬
-What a beautiful day on the bridge sweeping the bridge nice and clean just me and my bridge. I can go over here… not into the good side but I can put just one little toe.. No, back to my dark side(-_-メ)...sweep,sweep,sweep♪
-☆彡Surprised!
-sweep,sweep,sweep♪
-Hey! ☆彡Surprised?
-Ah Hi, can I help you?
-Aren’t you amazed by the sudden burst of light?
-I couldn’t see any burst of light, I didn’t notice.
-Didn’t you hear the sound of my star light?
-I could hear some birds singing on the good side and people screaming on the bad side but I couldn’t hear any star sound.
-most people see it quite easily
-Anyway, Who am I ?
-Who am I ? ☆彡I am the light in the darkness! I shine bright for billions of years !! I shoot across the night sky!! I make dreams come true!! I am Twinkle Staaaarrrrrr!!!
-Sorry, my broom fell down. What was your name again?
-Are you serious?
-What do you mean?
-You didn’t hear what I just said?
-I knew you were saying something but it’s busy job sweeping the bridge!
-do want me to do that whole thing again?
-alright..
-very well..
-Maybe I’ll add another blast of star light, Here we go!
☆彡I am the light in the darkness! I shine bright full billions of years !! (Oh, Friday!) I shoot across the night sky!! I make dreams come true!! (Hi Friday) I am Twinkle Star! (How are you old boy?) God damn you! You know who I am, Scorpion!
-Sorry, Friday just arrived. Oh good boy..
-Friday! Why hello
-Ahh I remember you..
-and I remember you..Scorpion
-What your name..twink..?
-Twinkle Star!
-Twinkle Star?
-I just told you my full name twice!!
-I wasn't listening I’m sorry
-I am the light in the darkness, I burn for billions of years, I shoot across the night sky, I make dreams come true, I am Twinkle Staaaarrrrr!!!
-Twinkle Star!
-Well, you’re not coming in to the dark side. If that’s your plan.
-Scorpion this whole good side bad side thing it’s rather silly, don't you think?
-I guess it is kind of silly I mean, you’re welcome to hangout on this bridge anytime you like.
-Well, I need to go to the bad side.
- (Whispering) Oh, Friday, settle down. He’s not gonna touch you again
-come on Friday..
-Now listen Twinkle Star, Why don’t you flash and fuck off back to space or wherever you came from, because youre not coming to the dark side
-I just need to pop over to the bad side just for… just a moment
-Well, what business do you have on the dark side? What reason?
-Why do you care, it’s the BAD side?
-Last time you wouldn’t let me come I just wanted to go shopping and you wouldn’t even let me. you tried to have sex with my horse
-I did not, Friday don’t listen to him..
-I just wanted to pet your smooth hair, and touch your soft nose, Yes Friday, good boy.. Anyway anyway..
-Friday, come back!
-Friday no..
-Now look he’s gone!
-One day I’ll have that horse…
-Now I have to walk home through the dark streets dangerous people..
-I’ll walk with you, let’s go Scorpion!
-OK, again. Why do you want to come?
-...Scorpion.. It’s no need for this...Remember? we are old friends! Remember that time on the bridge, you and me...
-Yeah, that sucked
-Old memories...
-That was not fun. That was very inconvenient
-Look scorpion, if you must know…
-It’s just you and me.. Tell me
-I have to return some videos...
-Oh, some videos..
-I rented some videos from the video store…
-Strange because the good side has an excellent video store. They have every happy, family movie..
-They do, yes.
-snacks, delicious ice cream..
-Yes, yes..that’s all very good but..
-Why would you come to the dark side video store?
-Well, you see..the video store on the bad side actually has some... of the videos I like…
-I know the store you are taking about and they only have dark, dirty porn, nothing but porn
-Well, I am sure there are some normal bad videos.
-No, there’s not. It’s 100% porno
-Scorpion come on, man
-You rented some porn videos?
-Well, come on, Scorpion. Don’t say it like that!
-Well, What would you like me to call them?
-Come on! I’m up there shining in the night sky all by myself
-I see
-I get a little bit lonely
-So you decided to watch some porn
-〇✖…I made.. I maybe..I visited the bad side video store and...
-I guess normal stars weren’t enough you wanted some porn stars. Is that right?
-It’s lonely up in the night sky..
-You are sick
-Don’t you understand?
-I do understand
-Please just let me go back and return these videos
-Well, if you can answer my riddle, my tricky question then you can pass into the dark side..(-_-メ)
-Are you ready?
-You are going to ask me some kind of difficult question..
-a riddle!
-a riddle..
-a riddle!
-Oh, gosh OK.
-Are you ready?
-Well, all right..
-What can you lose, but never find?
-That’s it?
-That’s it. What can you loose, but never find?
-Think about it.
-Your mind!
-That’s actually a really good answer
-Because you can lose your mind..
-Yes
-go crazy..
-Sure
-You can never find your mind. That’s not an English expression.
-That’s right. Losing your mind, means going crazy.
-So Yes! I’m correct!! Off I go!
-damn you… You solved my riddle with an answer that is pretty good!
-Did you have a different answer?
-I did
-What was your answer ?
-Well, there are many possible answers and your answer was one I didn’t think of… so well done, Star man whatever your name is!
-I have all the intelligence and all the knowledge of billions of years shining in the galaxy
-Right
-So of course! I can solve your simple, scorpion
-...the real answer is.... Your life! now died!!! ✖✖ (-_-メ)☆彡☆彡☆彡
-die~ die~ porn star~~!!
-Hyaa Hyaaa
-I Can’t see!.. I can’t see!! Twinkle man? Friday?….
-Hello Ben
-Hello Abe
-We are rolling
-finally
-finally
-We had some speed bumps on the road
-Oh, yes
-Some hurdles..
-We had many speed bumps
-Yeah, little inconvenient things that stopped us recording today
-Yes, a speed bump is a bump in the road that prevents you from going fast
-Right
-and you’re driving and it goes bubum bubum…
-You can also say ‘speed bumps’ things that happen unexpectedly that slow you down
-like using my city computer to record the podcast
-Yes, so we tried to use your computer, we tried three times
-And the old girl just wouldn’t play ball
-She is an old lady and she wasn’t in the mood
-No, She didn’t want to cooperate
-Yeah, isn't it funny how we always say she or her for vehicles or machines, boats and cars, -computers
-computers, she’s an old girl..
-Yeah, I think originally it came from boats!
-Yeah, boats are always feminine.
-Yes!
-So, Do you remember what we were talking about before?
-Yes, I do! I was angry...
-Oh..
-Yeah, but now I’ve calmed down a little bit but I’m still angry! You’re not off the hook, I'm not letting you get away with it
-I’m not off the hook
-No, you’re not free, I still want to talk to you about something
-OK, so last time at my house..
-Yes
-You were late coming over
-Just… a little bit..a tiny bit late
-So as you said..
-Yes
-up to 15min late is acceptable
-Yes, it’s not good but it’s not too bad
-But more than 15min late...
-Yeah
-is unacceptable
-then you’re in the rude zone
-That’s when it becomes rude
-Yes, and the other person starts feeling angrier and angrier, Where’s fucking Abe!! I said.
-Wait, how late were you last time?
-17min
-There you go!
-Exactly. Yes, 2min into the rude zone, but Ladies and Gentlemen, my partner, my podcast partner today left me waiting for a full 30min plus
-Maybe a little less than 30min
-Around 30min, well deep deep into the rude zone
-In the rude zone, I apologize..
-Oh, thank you..
-but let me
-finally..
-Let me say, I had good reasons to be late
-Did you really?
-I had 2 good reasons
-I bet they’re both stupid, let’s hear them
-The first reason is because I was waiting for this new beautiful microphone for you to use.
-and I’m using it and it is beautiful it has a nice light on and it looks very stylish and modern
-Thank you, yeah..
-Yes, so.. OK, That’s a good reason to be late
-I was waiting for the delivery
-which was… Not on schedule
-No, it was late
-Right, very rare in Japan
-Not my fault
-Not your fault
-I wanted to you to have a nice microphone
-Thank you, OK, now you are turning the tables you are switching it around making me feel guilty, why am I feeling guilty now? You are the one who commited the crime.
-OK, you are right, because the second reason, I don’t really have an excuse, when I was walking across the bridge I suddenly remember, Oh No!! fuck fuck!, I forgot my puff filters!
-Ah,yeah, the little covers the you put on the microphone to reduce the popping sound when you said ‘P ‘words
-Yeah, ‘P’s and ‘B’s -‘P’s and ‘B’s my two favorite, letters ‘P’ and ‘B’
-Peanutbutter sandwich!
-Yeah, Penis boys
-Anyway, that was completely just my own forgetfulness
-Yes
-I have no excuse
-No, excuse? right. so It’s not actually an excuse it's just your brain damage
-I had two reasons
-OK, two reasons? One of them I a good excuse and the other one is ..
-just me being forgetful
-just a stupid reason.. but I forgive you, and speaking of bridges, It’s water under the bridge
-Well, let’s just wait one moment
-OK, all right I'll take back my forgiveness
-Let me describe what I saw when I arrived
-I don’t think that’s necessary
-I have to describe it because..
-People don’t hear that..
-Yes,yes..so..
-Turn off the podcast
-I arrived at Ben’s house and I opened the door and I thought, Oh I’m late, he is going to be waiting there by the computer
-tapping my watch
-tapping your wrist watch
-Time is money, Abe!
-Buuuuut I saw you sitting on the couch
-Yes
-with no shirt
-Right
-You were topless
-No, shirtless I'm not a stripper
-You were topless
-OK
-You had no top on
-breasts out
-Yeah, you bare hairy chest exposed
-Yes my chest carpet
-and you were eating a huge plate of spaghetti
-mamma mia! That’s a nice spaghetti
-yeah
-Um
-You were half naked eating a big plate of spaghetti!
-Well, It’s my house I don’t have to wear a shirt and I can eat spaghetti whenever I like!
-you were slurping up these noodles..
-there’s-a one...
-there’s-a two...
-in-a my mouth..
-in-a my mouth..
-each one better than the last..
-mamma mia! That’s-a good spaghetti!
-I’ve done it again! Nn..ma!
-so after I arrived, I had to wait for you to finish eating your spaghetti naked
-what I’m just gonna put my spaghetti down in the let it cold no one likes cold spaghetti
-well
-no one
-yeah OK, but..
-agreed?
-Yes! cold spaghetti is terrible
-gotcha
-my question is, last time, you said that making me wait was like foreplay
-yeah, I’m last time, I was eating a pizza, n..that’s a nice pizza! But this time, was spaghetti each time is a different Italian food..
-Yes, but I thought you would probably eat before I arrived
-Yes, I was going to
-so I made you wait with my forgetfulness and my bringing a nice beautiful mic for you to record with…
-right
-and did you feel like you have to make me wait too? like you want to both people to do foreplay?
-like revenge? revenge foreplay
-you do me, now I do you
-yeah, it worked out quite well. and here we are!
-you said before in the last episode
-yes
-it’s like conversation sex
-yes, conversation is sex and the waiting is the foreplay
-No! It’s not...OK, that’s what you said… so… do you have to eat spaghetti naked ?
-I had pants on
-can’t you do something else?
-what?
-I don't know anything!
-like eat a sandwich?
-anything!
-is it the food? is it the spaghetti that’s the problem? or that I didn’t have a shirt on, coz I’ve come to your house plenty of times and you had no shirt on
-yeah, but
-right?
-it’s both. It’s slurping up sloppy spaghetti
-it wasn't sloppy. It was a Peperoncino
-Peperoncino!!
-so it was oily
-right, OK
-yeah, and some fell down in to my chest hair
-yeah, right
-yeah, and it was all oily and garlic on my body..I love it
-gross
-yeah, it’s great! I felt very European
-OK, slurping up oily spaghetti, like, I can’t think of a worse kind a foreplay
-well, everyone’s diffent and Abe, you’ve forgotten something
-what what?
-PMA
-Positive Mental Attitude!!
-So Why... Where… what.. what the hell are you talking about?
-you're seing this situation kind of negative ”Oh Ben was eating spaghetti with no shirt”
-No, I wasn’t upset
-No?
-No
-OK
-because I was late, I felt bad
-What should I be doing? Waiting in a suit with a bunch of flowers..Ah Abe! Welcome to my house, here’s some champagne, take a seat
-maybe ahh, perhaps a fruit platter would be nice
-well, I did give you a banana
-you did
-I did, I gave you a banana and you said, "do you have any green bananas?"
-yeah, I like my bananas to be like hard and young
-yeah, isn’t that bad for your stomach?
-I like young, hard bananas
-OK, fine
-yeah they’re the only ones that satisfy me
-I like soft old yellow bananas..so we’re a bit different that way.
-yeah we are..
-but we both like bananas
-I like them cold too, I like to refrigerate them
-of course you do. you like everything cold..anyway, you had your banana. Positive Mental Attitude! We are rolling!
-yeah
-it’s a beautiful day
-and then we start rolling and your computer breaks
-yes,well that’s because I'm poor and my things are old and janky as we say
-janky
-yeah, unreliable a little be broken
-janky meaning: it’s a machine that sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t
-we can't really trust it
-it’s janky
-yes, but I love it and it has sentimental value, not how much money it's worth
-it’s a computer!!
-the memories...
-get a new one!!
-associated with this computer! I've made music on this computer. I've typed things on it
-OK, so this computer had a… you type things on it?..
-Reports! I've done lots of business on this computer
-wow! Great
-I’m a businessman
…
-time to do business! check,check,check..I do on my computer, I open the business program and I get down to business, business.com. That’s where you'll find me on line
-hey, I feel like maybe you actually have never done business on this computer
-I've done dirty business on this computer
-that, I believe
-that you believe
-maybe that’s why you feel sentimental value to your computer
-that’s right. We had a lot of intimate moments together
-OK
-She’s seen me at my worst...
-OK,OK..
-yeah, I noticed you have something covering the..
-yeah, I have a sticker over the webcam
-yeah
-yeah because people can hack your webcam these days
-so you're afraid that someone might hack into your computer...
-Yes
-and look at you through your webcam?
-yeah and see me doing my business
-that would be terrible
-that would be horrible. Yeah, and then they have my business secrets and they could use it against me to blackmail on me
-they steal your business
-yeah
-OK
-scary
-Oh my god
-guys, listeners, cover your webcams because someone is watching you!
-you know, since I started using Apple, Mac, I never worry about getting hacked or getting viruses anymore
-they are more reliable and stable, I agree
-yeah
-yes, but maybe someone is hacking you and you don’t even know coz your webcam is uncovered. so maybe someone is watching you right now..
-alright! come and say hello we now have twitter and instagram
-we are live on twitter we got the gram the instagram we are on facebook
-please come say hello ask a question or suggest a topic
-photos, questions, topics, anything guys is OK. we are looking forward to interacting
-absolutely
-we want to get to know you
-absolutely
-feel you, touch... you
-Yes,Yes.....No, not touch
-with our mouths, like speaking. Anyway, we wanna get to know you better
-Yes, come to ‘55 freebird.com’ I'm coming to Nagoya November 7 and November 8
-(choo-choo)here we come the freebird train
-English pronunciation workshop, come and enjoy...
-sounds great!!
-Come on Chubu! Let’s go!!
-Wow!! just ah....don't ask him how to pronounce ‘Squirrel’