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​transcripts

10. Around the World 

(Transcript by Alissa)

​Listen to podcast (Apple)

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10. Around the World

 

(intro)

 

-These teachers are talking! 

-I almost spat out my tea!  What is -this!!?

-My god…

(music)

-Ben

-Yes

-It’s October now

-Ah October

-October is a special month

-The month of the snake

-No it’s actually…  my birthday is tomorrow

-What what what!!?  if you had not have reminded me I would have forgotten.  I’m very very bad at remembering birthdays, anniversaries, dates, milk at the supermarket, I’m a forgetful person.

-you’re forgetful guy

-yep

-I’m forgetful with some things

-right

-but not others

-okay

-yeah I’ve never forgot my wife’s birthday or an anniversary or

-wow

-I think I would be in a lot of trouble

-in the hospital

-yeah

-she would beat you.  break your legs!  I’ll always remember my wife’s… my family…

-like your brother and your parents

-my brother and my parents

-but you don’t remember even the best of friend’s? 

-no

-really?

-yeah really.  it’s terrible

-anyway

-yeah

-that’s okay.  October is a special month because it’s my birthday -and it’s my brother’s birthday

-okay

-yeah.  aaaaaand?

-when this episode comes out,

-yeah

-it will be almost exactly our one month podcast anniversary

-wow only one month?

-yeah time... what!!?  I was gonna say time flies doesn’t it?

-yeah me too, but then I thought, actually that’s not that long

-I mean since we released the podcast

-Ah yes we’ve been recording for quite a few months now.  that’s why it feels longer but since we released our virgin episode our very first introduction episode we will be at the one month point

-yes!

-yeah

-Congratulations Ben

-yeah!! High fives!

-Ben Ben Ben

-so congratulations man

-well congratulations to you too.  and if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here now with my mountains of money and my fine champagnes

-Look

-you’ve introduced me to the world of podcasting and it has changed my life

-Ben I told you

-yes

-that you’re not gonna make money from podcasting

-Ah Damn it! I’m turning the microphone off

-Don’t you dare.  we have fun

-yeah

-sometimes we crack a beer

-sometimes two beers

-I’m gonna get another celebration beer

-whooooo!!  Alright Abe has gone to get his celebratory beer

so it’s just me and while Abe’s gone we can talk about how great I…

oh he’s coming back… How great Abe is…  Hey welcome back did you get your celebration…

-What are you talking about?

-Ah nothing.  Did you get your celebration beer?

yes sir here we go!

-Happy one month podcast anniversary!!

-here you go buddy

-Ah thank you

-yeah go ahead

-oh wow I can’t wait is it cold?

-Ben come on man of course it’s cold

-okay oh I’ve just touched the can and he’s right

-how cold is it?

-it’s almost burning my fingers

-scale of one to ten, how cold?

-minus 10

-I meant 10 would be the coldest

-yeah but that doesn’t make sense

-just drink the damn beer

-I’m drinking it…  I spilled it

-I spilled it on my legs

-did you forget where your mouth is?

-sometimes I do

-I was caught... let me try agin…  I just wasted the one cerebration beer

-come on go ahead

-yes there we go

-Ice cold

-nice cold beer to cerebrate

-thank you

-our one month podcast anniversary

-wooohooooo!

-it’s been fun

-it’s been fun we’ve talked about so many different things we’ve learned about each other’s countries

-a little bit

-a little bit…  we’ve talked about English expressions and sports

-a little bit

-and animals and ladies

-now Ben as you can imagine

-most of the people listening to our program are living in Japan

-Ah yes

-in fact the podcast hosting website that we use

-podbeen

-yes it’s called podbeen

-it’s very reasonably priced

-I thought so

-and they actually provide very detailed statistics

-they do?

-yeah

-so we can see who is listening

-ah not that detailed

-we can see their faces and where they

-no

-their house is

-no

-no?

-no but we can see which country they live in

-okay

-and sometimes even little more details

-interesting

-yeah

-I wonder what countries are listening

-so Ben

-oh you got a piece of paper there

-yes yes

-you’ve written something on it

-I have

-I’ve written a little bit about the listener statistics

-Ah okay

-yeah

-so who’s listening from which countries

-yeah

-alright

-so of course about 90% is from Japan

the land of the rising sun

and even the listeners in the other countries probably many of them are Japanese people who are either studying abroad or living abroad

-sure these are people who are interested in English and maybe go to live in an English speaking country

-yeah

-to improve their English

-Can you guess the number one country other than Japan so the number two country the number two country who listens to teacher talk

-yes

-hm... let me think

-can you give me a hint?

-it’s very easy, so no

-I’m going to guess mother Russia

-what!!?

-the land of Ice and snow

-what is this teacher talk

-and vodka

-it’s excellent program

-I like! turn up radio!

-no

-no?

-oh okay alright

-it’s not

-Oh say can you see~♬

-Ah Spain!

-no!!

-hola!!

-no stop

-no the number two country is America

-fuck yeah!

-America fuck yeah

-what’s up my American dudes and girls

-yeah yeah

-and the thing I found interesting

-yes

-with the American stats, with America Canada and Australia maybe podcasts are very popular

-That’s true

-yes

-so the statistics are more detailed

-that’s interesting.  podcasting is very popular in the western world

-especially English speaking countries

-yes right

-so let me tell you you can see which states

-oh really?

-yeah yeah it’s pretty cool

-okay

-so the number one state is California man! 

-California knows how to party♬

-anyway anyway so the top states are California and then 

-New York city

-you’re right yeah New York!

-New York state

-yeah New York

-thank you New Yorkers

-they have the biggest populations so that’s not surprising 

-it makes sense

-yeah

-so number three must be Texas!

-you’re right

-Oh snap

-Texas

-I’m on fire

-that’s right

-that means number four must be Florida

-good guess but no

-no?

-number four is Massachusetts

-what’s up my Massachusetts cowboys!

-and I think I know why

-why?

-well Massachusetts is a state up in the north east

and Boston is the main city

-yes

-and there are many famous universities

-Ah okay

-so many famous universities and probably a lot of international -students

-international students yeah

-okay that makes sense

-so Massachusetts is there

-but then the next two really interested me

-really?

-yeah

-they are sort of states that you wouldn’t expect?

-I wouldn’t expect yeah

-right well that would have to be Alaska

-no

-no

-Tennessee Tennessee and Minnesota

-oh cold Minnesota yeah

-so I thought that was cool

-that is very cool

-and the next country on the list…  so America is number two

-Alright

-the next country is number three

-is it an English speaking country?

-no it’s not

-is it a Spanish speaking country

-no it’s not

-is it…

-I’ll give you a clue

-okay

-okay?

-okay

-it’s the most populated country in Europe

-the most populated country in Europe…  that’s a difficult hint

-no it’s not

-you don’t know what country is the most populated in Europe? it’s one of the biggest countries…

-well I’d know that but there’s some major players…  it must be either Germany

-yes

-right

-you got it.  Germany that’s right!

-I felt it was Germany

-yeah we have some German listeners

-this podcast is absolutely delicious

-I can’t get enough of ze teacher talk

-yum chocolates and teacher talk

-I want more yeah… oh we just lost them all

-they’re evil anyway

-no they are not

-I’m half German

-right.  you’re half evil

-no germans are wonderful people

-I’m joking I’m joking

-they’re great

-they’re great

-thank you Germany

-thank you Germany

-yeah

-yes how do we say thank you in German? “Danke Shane” Danke to my German boys and girls

-yeah German boys want to coming and dancing

-Do you dance? can you dance?

-Can you dance like a German man?

-in Germany this is how we do it we like ze teacher talk 

-now dance now dance

-German boys dancing all night long

-okay

-that’s enough

-alright!

-covered Germany

-yes thank you Germany

-and the next country on the list is Canada…  Canada! Canada!

-yeah so Canada

-thanks… is that your friends and family? listening? 

-no

-I didn’t really tell my friends because

-are you ashamed of me?

-no my friends are not English learners

-I told some people that I know

-right

-who are living in Canada

-okay

-who are international students

-right

-Canada

-good job Canada

-yeah nice job maple leaf Canada.  The Canadaroos!

-and here we go!  …and the next country on the list… so we’ve got Canada my country

-got it

-okay

-Germany’s in the bag

-what’s the next country?  I’ll give you a hint

-Alright

-it’s in the Southern hemisphere

-the Southern hemisphere

-Yes

-below the equator

-in the Southern hemisphere

-the southern hemisphere

-yes…

-It must be the greatest country ever created

land of the free, the handsome, the beautiful, the brave, …Australia!

-no  it’s…

-Chile!!

-no it’s New Zealand

-Fuck!

-Yeah New Zealand!

-Kiwi bastards

-yeah quite a few more listeners in New Zealand than Australia

-Really?  well think all my New Zealand bros

-yeah thank you to everyone in New Zealand

-yes

-okay

-and the next country is now come on…  who do you think it is?

-here we go

-who is it

-is it the country next to New Zealand which is bigger and better in every way? 

-You mean Australia?

-yes I do

-no

-oh what!?

-it’s not

-this is very disappointing where are all my Australian listeners and supporters 

-that’s what I was thinking

-there is more people in Tennessee what’s going on?

-more people in Tennessee than Australia

-I guess they you know what they’re jealous

-no Ben

-they envy me.  well guess what Aussies I’m never coming home!

-Ben

-I hate you all!

-it’s not about you

-okay

-it’s about the listeners

-OK… I’m sorry

-the next country on the list is the United Kingdom

-The United Kingdom

-what a lovely podcast

-listening on the radio and I heard an absolutely amazing podcast

-what what what???

-these teachers talking!

-I almost spat out my tea

-what is this?

-my god 

-family gather around!

-I can’t stop listening

-it’s funny and it’s just so well done

-absolutely

-top stuff

-okay yes.  the next is UK thank you very much UK!

-thank you UK

-alright

-that includes England both Ireands Scotland and Wales

-not both Irelands.  only North Ireland

-Ah northern…  the treacherous Southern Ireland…

-no “main” Ireland is it’s own country and Northern Ireland is a part of the United Kingdom 

-apologies to all Irish men

-and can you guess finally way down

-what number are we now?

-Now the UK was number 6

-Jesus Christ

-it’s going way down the list

-and finally

-way down there

-we got the land down under

-one single sad man listening in his car in the dessert..  he accidentally knocked his phone and our podcast popped out

-yes now we get to Australia

-well at least my country is in the top ten

-top ten yes

-top ten country

-okay

-very happy

-within Australia I want to give a very special thanks to the wonderful people

-don’t say it

-of New South Wales and Sydney

-really?

-because they have by far being listening the most more than double Victoria

-you know I called people from Sydney dickheads I’ve said some bad things about Sydney in the past and

-time to apologize

-I stand by everything I said nothing’s changed but cheers!

-people of Sydney and New South Wales

-wow

-by far the best most gracious wonderful people in the country

-let’s not forget Germany and the United Kingdom and Texas

All the other great great listenerships listeners groups

-they all came before Australia yeah all of them

-they all beat New South Wales

-yeah by far yeah… big time

-big time

-big time

-big time

-New Zealand has

-New Zealand okay

-more than double the listeners of Australia

-yeah maybe they don’t like me

-yeah

-like I said they’re jealous of me

-and people in Melbourne

-they’re happy you left

-look people in Melbourne they would be listening secretly

-people in Melbourne your home town

-I’m calling out I’m saying it now I’m calling out to all anyone in Melbourne who listens to this get in touch Instagram Facebook E-mail

-there is no one

-let us know

-there is no one

-give me one person from Melbourne

-Ben

-Please I guess I’ve got new friends now

-yeah people in Sydney New South Wales kind people good people

-I have to go to the gym and forget all the knowledge I know

…I could be a Sydney sider

why do you say that because people in Sydney go to the Gym a lot?

-well they are quite beautiful and stylish

-so you are jealous I see

-this is very disappointing.  I’m probably gonna drink more now

-oh okay

-lose my family

-don’t

-probably just go under the bridge and dive

-I’m sorry Ben you know what I read the statistics wrong

-whoa rewind!

-there are more people in Victoria than anywhere else in Australia

-Let’s go let’s go Victoria on the move Let’s go party people Melbourne boys 

-just kidding

-ah… you’re a sick person Abe.  and you’re lucky I do this podcast the way you abuse me and play with my heart 

-I knew it would irk you

-yeah it does

-you have more supporters in your rival city than your hometown

-yeah my enemy..  my enemy loves me more than my own people

-but we have to be thankful

-it must be it’s because of you it must be

-why?

-they don’t like you Abe been Melbourne

-maybe

-that must be it that’s the problem

-you know you’re right it’s probably me

-it’s probably you

-yeah  so put down the gun

-alright

-put down the gun please yeah

-calm down

-just put it in my mouth

-no no

-okay here have some more beer

-ah beer

-have some more

-trying get it in my mouth this time

-in the mouth please

-got a good mouth full there

-congratulations Ben

-this is bitter sweet.  this is bitter sweet… it’s good and bad because I’m happy we have international audience

-yeah well 90% is in Japan

-Number one biggest thanks is to our favorite country in the world Japan

-yes

-the country we call home

-that’s right no thanks to Australia big thanks to Canada

-big thanks to Canada

-big thanks to Canada Tennessy and Texas New York city California Minnesota my Boston boys my Starbucks guys

-anyway big thanks to Japan and the rest of the world contact us on twitter 

-instagram 

-facebook 

-e-mail 

-55 freebird.com 

-Abe’s house

-Come on

-go and knock on the door

-come on down

-he doesn’t have a front door it’s just…  it’s always open

-I live in a cave

-listeners walk in and out everyday hundreds of them

-some of them leave beer some of them take beer in the end it’s even

-yes some of them take beer some of them take your wife

-no I don’t no

-some of them leave a wife in the end it’s all…

-no

-no? no wife swapping?

-no Ben

-you’re dirty dawg

-none of that stuff

-good good

-anyway please say hi say hello send us a question or send us a topic to talk about 

-please if you suggest a good topic we will talk about it good bye we love you.  fuck you Sydney!   I’m out!

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