20200908_104302.jpg

​transcripts

3. Twinkle Star Learns to Shine   

(Transcript by Alissa)

​Listen to podcast (Apple)

Listen to podcast (Other)​

3. Twinkle Star Learns to Shine 

 

(intro)

 

-It depends what you eat…  So if you eat only chocolate, then your poop is made of chocolate… I’m not a doctor

-Not true.

 

(music)

 

-Look up into the night sky.  What do you see?

Shining bright from millions and billions of kilometers away.  You can see the mighty the great the fantastic the wonderful Twinkle Star!!  And look down at the ground…  What is that?  A little bug?

-Me?

-Kill it!

-Squash the scorpion before he stings you!

-Fool!  Hundreds of men have tried to kill…  Thousands have died

-Actually...

-trying to destroy

-It’s pretty easy to kill a scorpion

-No it’s not

-It’s pretty easy

-He cannot die, for how could you kill something God like?

-If you’re wearing shoes you just have to step on it

-That’s true

-and bye-bye scorpion

-But what if he’s hiding inside that shoe

-Yeah you have to check your shoes, because a sneaky dirty little scorpion might hide inside your shoe

-But what if you forget to check your shoe and you put it on, and #$% from his mighty tail

-It’s not mighty you’re hiding in a shoe

-His average size tail

-Not a cool place to hide

-Forget about stars

-Hey

-The only thing you’ll be thinking of is death…  As his poison reaches your heart and destroys your mind.  Welcome to the hall of mirrors, a new world of pain, Scorpion is here…

-The hall of mirrors?

-Where is he?

-What are you talking about?

-Is he left? Is he right?

-A hall of mirrors?

-A hall of psychedelic pain… Welcome to the house of scorpion…

-Okay, the thing is…  many people have killed a scorpion

-Yes and many have…

-They’re very small

-Scorpions have killed many people also

-I don’t think so

-Some

-Very few people have died from being stung by a scorpion

-How many people have died from stars?

-Stars don’t kill people.  Stars help people

-Actually skin cancer kills millions from the star, our sun

-That’s not on purpose

-Oh so I thought this was a competition who kills the most people 

-I don’t wanna kill people

-Oh sorry

-I’m Twinkle Star… I’m a hero

-You’re a hero, a good guy

-Yeah you’re a bad guy, you’re scorpion

-I don’t want to be bad I like people.  Sorry guys.  If you find me in your shoe, just tap me out.  Don’t kill me

-What do you mean tap me out?

-Just turn the shoe upside down and shake the shoe

so I fall to the ground and run away into the forest

-So if someone happens to be in a desert 

-Right

-where there are many scorpions

-Yes

-They should check their shoes before putting their shoes on

-Always check your shoes

-because there might be a dirty little scorpion hiding inside your shoe 

-See I’m a little dirty it’s true but usually when people talk about me they don’t use the word dirty

-Until the last episode I felt like I got a raw deal

-I know you weren’t happy with your twinkle star nickname

-Yeah because scorpion sounds cool

-Yes

-But if you think about it a star, a twinkling star in the sky… it’s much more majestic and powerful than a little bitch ass scorpion scurrying around on the floor hiding in shoes

-I think the real bitch word here is twinkling.  It’s not a powerful word,

Twinkling sounds like something that’s trying to be bright

-Look the problem...

-It’s trying to be powerful

-The problem with nicknames is that you don’t get to choose them

-True.  Nobody can choose their own nickname.  This is nickname law

-People give you nicknames

-Right

-and if you hate the nickname the worst thing you can do is

try to reject the nickname

-Yes because people will double down

-They’ll doubly try and stick that nickname to you

-The more you hate it the more people will try to use it

-Exactly!

-Yes so if you have a bad nickname, the best thing you can do is

we say in English is to “Own it”

-Learn to love it

-is to take it and make it yours

-Right

-Make it your own you have to own it

-It’s like if there is a part of your body that you don’t like

-Someone who has a very big nose

-So if someone has a big nose and people make fun of him

-Yeah like maybe they call them sneezy

-I’d say hey I like your nose

-Where did you get that nose?

-The thing I like about your nose is that there is a little bit of face attached to it 

-Oh burn!

-But if someone realizes they have a very big and maybe a strange shaped nose 

-Yes

-and they joke about it by themselves, then people will actually start to think, oh what a cool guy

-Sometimes

Your nose is the perfect shape, Abe, I’ve noticed…

-Really?

-Yeah, It’s a friendly nose

-I have a friendly nose?

-Yeah

-It’s not very intimidating?

-It’s not threatening.  When I see your nose I feel safe

-I tell you what though

-What’s that?

-My nose is dangerous

-Really?

-Yeah because I use it as a weapon

-Ah you use it to smell and find weak people?

-I’ll peck you right in your eye

-Ah! Abe

-Come here

-No that’s not your nose!

-I’ll peck you! I’ll peck your fucking eyes out with my nose… “Peck” first of all is what a bird does

-Yeah with it’s beak

-Yeah

-Peck peck peck

-Birds often you know peck at the ground.  

-When they’re looking for worms or scorpions

-Yeah birds probably eat scorpions

-Yeah maybe but big mistake because…

-They are very easy targets

-scorpions are the most powerful insect

-It’s one of the coolest looking

-Thank you…  Thank you Abe.  I guess when people make a wish or have a dream, they always talk about stars

-yes because twinkle stars make dreams come true

-People don’t say I wish upon a scorpion for my dreams to come true

-No, you wish upon a twinkling star in the sky

-Right

-I’m owning it!

-Okay it’s a good nickname

-I didn’t get a raw deal after all

-Yeah

-You’re a positive thinker Abe

-Yep sometimes you just have to change your angle, your perspective of thinking 

-Right

-and be happy for what you have, and what I have is a nickname that at first I thought was too feminine

-yeah weak even

-and I thought it was a raw deal, until I thought about all the good things about a twinkling star in the sky

-Right and that’s good

-Twinkle Star!!

-You’re happy

-That’s important

-and scorpion

-and scorpion!

-No no no

-When you say my name

-No now it’s different

-No no

-Now it’s twinkle star!! …and scorpion

-Okay.  But you have to make a tail whip sound

-Oops I stung myself again gaaahhhh

-Not what I was thinking

-Scorpion 

-twinkle star…  Anyway Ben

-Yes

-I wanted to talk to you about Australian holidays

-Ah yes my favorite time of the year, Holiday time.  I’m not a hard worker.  Australians… three things we hate.  Number 1…

-scorpions

-spiders… scorpions probably

-Number 2 cold weather.  Number 3 hard work

-Hard work

-Oh the worst so…

-Yeah actually I worked for a long time 

-Right

-Where I used to hire people from many countries 

-Yes

-and yeah I noticed that Australians are particularly 

-Hang on be careful what you say…

-they are not the hardest workers in the world 

-No

-How about that

-Sure it’s true except me.  You hired me!

-I did actually

-and how was my work performance

-Actually you were great

-Thank you

-and you were the best Australian I’ve ever hired

-The best of the worst.  I’ll take that

-Yeah

-Kinda the best of the worst

-Sure, Well that’s because I respect you

-Thank you!

-But…

-Anyway we were... I asked you about Australian holidays

-Yeah

-Now Australia just like Canada is a former British colony

-That’s right

-Used to be under the control of the queen

-Still is

-British colony …Not really it’s an independent country now.

-No it’s not, the head of government is the queen

-But that’s just an official thing it’s not really

-Well no I’m sorry really she has the power to remove the government 

-Is that Australia? or is that also Canada?

-I’m not sure I think it’s more Australia.  It happened once in Australia’s history.  The government...

-The queen came and said “Enough of this Australian government! You are all fired! On the order of the queen of England!”

-Kind of

-Really?

-Yeah

-Wow…  Well anyway both Australia and Canada have strong ties to Britain and both are predominantly mostly christian countries

-Yes we share a very similar colonial and religious past

-Yeah and so perhaps our culture and our holidays are very similar

-Sure

-So for example the biggest and most important holiday in Canada is Christmas

-Right same with Australia.  Christmas is the king of holidays

-yes and is there other holidays in Australia that maybe I don’t know about?

-No in terms of family getting together and really important days on the calendar Christmas and Easter which is also a big event in Canada.  These are the two times when your parents or your grandmother will be angry if you don’t come home

-You gotta go home 

-You gotta go home

-You gotta go home for Christmas

-Christmas and Easter you gotta go home you gotta see grandma

-You have to

-Yeah

-Okay that’s pretty much the same

-Right

-Although maybe Easter is not that important.  Like in Canada we do Easter egg hunts

-Yeah

-Where the easter bunny comes

-Sure

-Do you do that in Australia also?

-We do

-Oh awesome I love easter egg hunts

-Me too

-So the easter bunny it’s always your parents they hide easter eggs everywhere

-Right

-And then the kids when they wake up they have to look for the easter eggs

-Oh you do it when you wake up?

-Generally yeah

-Right

-So when you wake up your parents say you are not allowed to come out of your room until we say it’s okay

-They say “Wait! The easter bunny is still here!”

-Go back to your room twinkle star

-Okay sure

-and

-Hey twinkle toes

-Now you’re...

-Get in your room!

-Hey you’re not

-Easter bunny’s not finished.  You ruined easter again

-You’re not allowed to change my nickname

-Yeah

-…from twinkle stars to twinkle toes

-That’s what Australians do

-Twinkle toes is a…

-It’s a complement for a good dancer

-it’s a derogatory it’s a bad way to call someone gay

-Well oh really?

-Yeah

-So you should apologize to any gay listeners right now

-Well I would but scorpion never apologizes!

-Anyway you can’t change my nickname all of the sudden

-I’m sorry

-Say it

-Scorpion is

-Say it

-…king and he never never changes his mind, and he never goes back except this once I’m sorry I didn’t mean to change

-I’m sorry who?

-I’m sorry twinkle star

-There you go okay

-…toes because…

-Hey! You can’t ...Hey! I heard that

-What?

-You pretended to cough and you said toes as you pretended to cough

-Right no I coughed I had something in my throat

-Anyway easter egg hunts

-Yes so you wake… I’m imagining young Abe, Easter in Canada wake up in the morning very excited

-Very excited

-Your parents say Abe the easter bunny came and he left some eggs around the house or in the garden

-and I have two brothers

-Two brothers

-and we are very close in age 

Right so shit gets violent, 

-Shit gets very crazy

-Right

-This is not a peaceful loving family time.  This is a competition for chocolates

.just quickly say, you know when we say “shit” we mean the situation

-Right things

-It’s English slang, we say shit gets crazy

-Right

-it means things get crazy or the situation gets crazy

-Like when you’re having a difficult day at work, and you say I’m tired of this shit

-Yeah it means this life, these things, etc, this job

-Damn this life

-Yeah swearing is very complicated

-It is complicated

-It has many different meanings depending on the context,

depending on how you speak how you feel

-Yeah

-In this situation, it just means the situation

-Anyway yes shit gets crazy

-Right

-Three boys close in age trying to find the most easter eggs

-Right

-Sooo fun!

-Who was the king of easter egg hunts in your family?

-Oh of course my older brother

-Right stronger faster

-Faster the oldest actually probably my dog

-Oh really

-Yeah my dog used to around, and you know chocolate is very bad for dogs 

-Yeah they say that

-They can handle a little

-They can handle a little bit of chocolate.  Ladies and gentlemen if you have a dog at home pause the podcast get some chocolate

-Don’t no

-and give it to your dog…

-do not do that

-right now

-Don’t listen to scorpion.  He’s trying to poison your dog just like he wants to poison people and the world and everything

-No

-Because

-wrong

-Scorpions are bad

-Scorpions are the international symbol of love

-International symbol of love… I don’t think that’s true.  Anyway how about in Australia? Is there any difference?

-Not really I think this is one of those kind of traditional routines or

holidays it depends on the family.  It changes from family to family

It’s very similar but in my family we gather all of the family comes together for a big lunch, and while we’re eating lunch the easer bunny comes…  And then after the lunch has been eaten, some family elder

for example my aunt will say “Hey kids! The easter bunny has come” and then the race begins

-So who hides the easter eggs?

-The adults of the family

-Are you sure it’s not the easter bunny?

-Well I can’t be sure because I’m an adult man, but I’ve never actually seen the adults hiding the eggs.  So maybe there is a giant rabbit that comes during the day

-Magical

-Magically appears

-You never know

-and he…  in the garden he squats, he sits down, with his knees open

and he pushes!

-What the hell are you talking about?

-Out of his asshole pops

-Why? What? No

-Pop pop pop

-Why would the easter bunny shit

-Ahh one more!

-Wha... the easter bunny doesn’t lay eggs like a chicken

-Ah where do they come from?

-His basket

-The easter bunny hides the eggs

-Yeah

-Easter bunny doesn’t make the eggs like a chicken

Abe, Twinkle Star, where do you think they came from before they went into the basket? 

-Well they are chocolates

-His ass

-What? Why?

-It’s his poop he poops.  He puts it in the basket and then he spreads it around the garden

-Wait a minute… Are you saying that the easter bunny is a magic rabbit that has chocolate for poo? 

-Ping Pong

-And the eggs aren’t eggs they’re little pieces of chocolate rabbit shit?  Man Australia is fucked up

-It’s not shit it’s chocolate, but people have different poop it depends what you eat so if you eat only chocolate then your poop is made of chocolate.  I’m not a doctor

-Not true

-I’m not a doctor I’m not a veterinarian an animal doctor

-I just wanna ask one thing

-Sure

-is this actually an Australian belief that the easter bunny lays the eggs like a chicken? 

-No it’s more of a joke it’s an Australian joke that the easter bunny shits, poops eggs 

-Okay it’s a common joke

-Right

-Okay

-Yeah

-Relax

-sometimes I never know if you are joking or telling the truth

-It’s the Australian way the mystery of the land down under

-Okay that’s really mysterious

-Millions of years people have wondered the truth

-It’s very mysterious

-Yes so we find the eggs and like you said your older brother was the king of the easter egg hunt the most successful

-He was yeah

-I am the oldest grandchild of my family

-So you do easter egg hunts with not only your brother

but also your cousins

-All of my cousins and I am the oldest and the strongest

so I destroy my cousins

-But you’re faster

-Smash!

-Wow ok

-Die!

-My eggs!! Mine!  They’re mine

-So you were always the one who found the most easter eggs

-Yes

-Ah

-But luckily I’m a very nice person so I would help my smaller cousins

maybe there was an egg in the tree he couldn’t reach

-You’d help them

-and I’d say “Hey let me help you” let me lift you up so you can touch the egg

-Just touch it

-Just touch, I’ll be…  I’m eating it.  It’s mine

-Okay well I guess easter is pretty much the same in Canada and Australia

-Right and well the other part of easter is the religious element

the religious history

-Yeah so it’s actually...

-How does your family deal with that?

-My family wasn’t religious at all

-Okay

-So I didn’t even really know that easter was a religious holiday

-Right

-You know when I was a kid I only cared about the easter egg hunt

-yeah

-they’d talk about good Friday and easter Monday…  and I didn’t really understand that it had to do with christianity or Jesus Christ

-yeah I think maybe the chocolate is a way to get kids interested in the story of Jesus because if you just say “Hey kids Jesus died on Friday and came back to life on Sunday.” most kids say where is my chocolate? Boring!

-They’d say okay okay but when do I get to do the easter egg hunt?

-Right where is the fun stuff? 

-yeah, so did your family do anything religious

-Nothing.  Actually I learned later that it’s a religious holiday

I didn’t know… until like you said

-That’s what I said

-Exactly

-Yeah

-Until I was maybe 10

-It was just all about easter eggs and finding chocolate

-Right

-and then

-Fun of the hunt the thrill of the hunt

-The thrill of the chase

-I wanted to talk to you about Christmas as well

-Let’s go

-but we’re getting to our target kind of time limit

-Right, well, Next time…

-Sure we can talk about Christmas next time

-Next time you can have a look at my Christmas balls

and jingle my Christmas bell

-Can I say pass? like, no thank you?

-No.  it’s a tradition

-Okay, well, I’ll use my perfect little nose

-I thought twinkling stars shine a happy light on everybody

-All people

-All people.  Doesn’t matter your culture

-All religions

-All sexual orientations

-I shine my twinkly light evenly

-Right

-on all people

-Me included even dirty little scorpion

-Even shitty little scorpions

-Tail whip

-Hiding in a shoes

-I give you evenly my twinkly star power…  Okay scorpion

-Nothing but love

-Now I don’t feel nearly as jealous when I call you scorpion.  Now I say scorpion and I feel sorry for you

-I’m happy for you like I said Scorpions are the international symbol of understanding and love and peace…

-I don’t think that’s true

-Brotherhood what’s the first animal you think of when I say the word brotherhood

-Ahn...the first animal

-Yeah

-brotherhood

-brotherhood

-so like you mean brotherhood meaning like togetherness

-yeah like good relationship between people teamwork

happiness between people…  First animal Go!

-the first animal I think of is ants

-ants yes

-because they build those big crazy

-sure

-and they’re always working together they make those long lines

-They do

-communicate with pheromones

-They build huge nests

-and they help each other

-Yeah

-or maybe honey bees

-honey bees same thing if you open a honey bee nest

or if you open an ants nest dig dig down, always at the heart of the community, you find a scorpion

-No you don’t

-You do

-No you don’t!

-Scorpions are little assholes

-And so ladies and gentlemen

-Okay sure thing scorpion

-Right thank you

-Sure thing

-Scorpion facts if you’re interested in more leave a comment

-Okay thank you.  leave 5 twinkling stars

-5 twinkling stars

-on Apple podcasts

-5 happy little scorpion eyes

-No scorpions stings please

-5 stings

-No thanks

-Twinkle stars only

-Right

-Yeah ok nice to see you Ben

-Thanks Abe anytime

-Thank you for listening Ah say hello on our social media in the description 

-We love to hear your comments

-Check the description or ways to contact us

-Right

  • White Facebook Icon
  • White Twitter Icon

​お問い合わせ

無料メルマガ登録

SUBSCRIBE FOR UPDATES