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9. Drinking and Driving 

(Transcript by Alissa)

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 9. Drinking and Driving

 

(Intro)

 

a-The bigger you are the more you’re allowed to drink, so if you weigh 100kilos you can drink twice as much as your girlfriend or wife who weighs 50kilos

-yeah if you’re drinking with a tiny little person…  I’m just gonna have half of beer

-I’m having 5 beer

-I’ll have 3 beer

-another beer

 

(music)

 

-Benny Boy I like it cold 

-You love cold things You need it cold

-that beer is Ice cold

-It looks really nice

-Yes did you notice the special cup that I use?

-yeah it’s a cup that seems to be frozen it has a layer of ice within the cup 

-that’s right scorpion

-so the cup itself is like an ice block cup

-that’s right

-there is a little compartment little area inside the plastic cup

-secret little area

-yes you put it in a freezer

-yes

-and the liquid on the inside of the cup freezes

-can you change the liquid?

-no

-so the liquid stays in there forever

-it stays in there forever it’s special freezer liquid

-yeah and I envy you because I can’t have a beer

-no only me

-no beer for me

-that’s because

-I have to drive a car

-you’re a safe driver

-in Australia you can have one or two beers and still drive your car

-Ah yeah it’s the same in Canada

-right

-there is a limit

-yes a blood alcohol limit

-yeah here in Japan the law is kind of zero tolerance

-that’s right zero percent alcohol in your body if you’re driving

-you cannot have even one drop

-come on just one drop

-no

-just put it on my tongue!  I like the Japanese law because

-me too because I don’t drive

-you love it. You don’t give a shit…  but for me it makes things very simple

-simple and safe

-in Australia sometimes I visit a friend and I have one beer

-they say hi mate you wanna beer

-go on crack another coldy!

-Anyway the law here is zero tolerance in Australia there is a blood alcohol limit

-yes

-same as Canada

-so you find yourself wondering am I Okay? one more beer… it’s been two hours… it’s stressful

-yeah it’s confusing too

-yeah it’s confusing

-because the bigger you are the more you allowed to drink so if you weigh a 100kilos you can drink twice as much as your girlfriend or wife who weighs 50kilos

-yeah if you’re drinking with a tiny little person… I’m just gonna have half of beer

-I’m having 5 beers

-I’ll have 3 beers

-another beer!  …and your blood alcohol might be the same because you’re right it’s about your body size

-it’s about body size and body weight and how much you drink… very confusing

-lots of things very sciency

-I think it’s better to have a zero tolerant rule

-yes

-so there is no grey area

-that’s right and if you’re going to drink and drive in Japan you might as well drink ten drinks and just go for it

-no no

-because it’s the same as drinking half a beer

-no don’t drink and drive, the reason why I like the rule here is because it’s a zero tolerant rule.  if you’re not driving you’re allowed to drink in the car

-ah yeah that’s true

-so for me

-you love it

-I love it

-but wouldn’t that be more fun if I was having a beer too as we drove along together?

-no.  I mean it would be more fun if there was one more passenger

-beers with the boys in the car♬

-beers with the boys in the car♬

-drinking down those beers in the car 

-get out of the way

-roady trip!

-beer boys coming through!  There they go!  Oh those beer boys again!

-but the driver is totally sober

-yes sitting there while his friends enjoy some kind of beer car party around him

-yeah right, but in Canada you’re not allowed to have open alcohol in a car or vehicle

-Australia is the same

-right

-that might spill into the mouth of the driver

-or the driver might drink while he’s driving

-yeah

-and then say oh here you take this

-no sir I’ve only had one beer

-yeah but that’s why they have tests

-I don’t really understand that law let the passenger drink a beer who cares

-I think zero tolerant is way to go

-yes for the driver

-yeah

-I guess it’s also because in Japan there’s really great public transportation

-That’s true

-there is a lot of areas in Australia and Canada where if you don’t have a car you can’t really go anywhere

-that’s right

-so if you want to have dinner at your friend’s house and enjoy a couple glasses of wine yeah you should be allowed to drive home if you wait a few hours and you’re sober

-right

-because there is no other way to get home

-Maybe that’s true.  in Japan there are a lot of options like you say the public transport is great.  also they have the service which is very popular where two people will come in their little car

-a Daikou service

-and one will jump in your car and drive your car home for you

-that must be a really stressful job cuz you’re driving a drunk guy’s car

-be careful you don’t drive it like that

-Hey! watch it my car!

-she likes it when you hold the stick like this

-Gentle gentle!

-right don’t you think that would be stressful?

-I wouldn’t enjoy that job

-Apparently being a taxi driver is a very stressful job

-yeah it must be horrible sometimes

-yeah because the person who gets in the car knows exactly where they want to go and they’re behind you Ah must be stressful

-If they are not chatty drivers they drive in silence

-I like to chat if they chat with me usually I give them a tip

-really?

-yeah

-wow

-I tip taxi drivers almost every time

-very kind but you are from a tipping culture

-yes I hate, it but in Japan the drivers don’t usually get tips

-no

-so they seem especially happy when I give them a tip

-that’s nice!  you probably make their day

-I know that I read somewhere or I heard that being a taxi driver is one of the most stressful jobs

-right

-so I kind of remembered that and I tried to brighten their day with a

-that’s nice

-couple hundreds yen tip

-yeah

-couple of dollars

-That’s really nice.  and the taxi drivers here in Japan are much kinder than Australian taxi drivers

-oh really?

-generally yeah

-Australian taxi drivers?  are they known to be rude?

-yes if you approach the taxi they might put down the window and they say

-where are you going?

-where you going, mate

-where you going

-air port?  …they always wanna go to the airport.  airport?  airport is it?  …I don’t have suitcases I’m wearing sandals, I got my beach towel… does it look like I’m going to the fuckin’ airport??   they want a long trip to make more money

-yeah that’s understandable

-it’s understandable but it’s illegal they’re not supposed to do that.  so if I say I’m going 10 minutes down the road

-oh this beer is so cold Ben,  it’s so good

-really? still cold?

-because it’s in a special cold cup

-I know I know about the cold cup

-taxi drivers

-yeah

-they’re legally not allowed to say no

-yeah

-they have to take you

-yeah and this was a huge problem in Vancouver

-Really

-yes

-it was extremely difficult to get a taxi late at night, going out of downtown trying to get back to suburb or a far away area

-yes sure

-the taxi drivers would refuse

-yeah which I’m sure they’re not allowed to do

-they want to

-it’s illegal in Canada also

-yes but they do it

-sure

-so they want to stay downtown so that they can get passengers here to there

and then again there to here

-that’s right.  If they’re driving out to the forest area they’re not gonna get a raccoon or a squirrel who wants to go downtown

-what did you just say?

-a raccoon or a squirrel

-is that how you say squirrel?

-ah squirrel

-you say squirrel?

-squirrel

-what are you from Alabama?

-no that’s what they’re called

-they’re not they’re called squirrels

-no they are not

-yes they are clearly spelled

-what the fuck is a squirrel? … is that like a queer squirrel?

-okay anyway

-check the spelling and get back to me

-squirrel

-squi-rrel

-squir

-there is no I in squirrel

-yes there is

-is there?

-yes there is Abe I’m sorry I thought you were a teacher!  This whole podcast has been a lie

-is there I in squirrel?

-anyway coming back to the downtown area they won’t get a passenger

so they don’t wanna go all the way out there

-yeah

-but

-Oh hold on

-the airport is perfect because it’s faraway and there are always passengers waiting at the airport

-it’s perfect exactly

-so every time they stop airport? airport?

-and if you say airport please you can see their nipples get rock harder under their little taxi shirts and they go say that again

-now this might sound strange because here in Japan drivers almost never refuse a passenger

-no

-it was a huge problem in Vancouver and I guess also in Melbourne

-yes I once had a ... sorry to interrupt but I once was getting into a taxi

-are you sorry?

-not really

-are you sorry?

-etiquette 

-I was opening the door

-I was saying something

-I know…  but this is ..let me put this in let me push this in real quick ok

-is that what you tell your wife?

-yeah just real quick it’s what she says…

-okay go ahead with your story

-I was once getting into a taxi after some drinks in the city wanting to return to the suburbs

-the inner suburbs maybe 20 minutes

-20 minutes

-could probably be 40 dollars you know not bad

-anyway he drove off as I was getting into the taxi

-so he was like no mate

-yeah yeah

-actually it was like no mate I’m sorry

-oh really?

-and my arm was stuck in the door and I luckily got it out

-he really didn’t want to take you there

-nope

-as you were saying he was an Indian? or he was an immigrant?

-yes he was from the subcontinent

-okay

-no that’s not that’s not like sub human…  it’s sub.. it’s in the lower part of the Eurasian land mass

-okay

-yeah

-okay

-Pakistan India Bangladesh Sri Lanka

-and that’s a thing is there’re tend to be many taxi drivers that are immigrants

-sure yeah and that’s a great way for immigrants to make money

-if you can drive a car you can be a taxi driver…  if you’re not going to the airport I do not want you

-one time I had a Indian taxi driver

-yes

-and we were young early 20’s

-young and hard wild and free

-we were going from one bar to a different bar we were like, “oh man we’re so drunk!” and the taxi driver said “oh! me too!” and he started to … like watch this guys!

-Oh party time

-like driving really fast

-nice

-and our feeling went from like yeah! party to like Oh my god

-yeah that’s concerning

-hey man okay like let’s slow down

-yeah calm down

-maybe he was just excited by you guys he was feeding on your energy

-or maybe he was just joking

-you’d hope so

-yeah

-yeah you’d hope so

-it was a funny story though

-yeah

-but yeah I mean taxi drivers refusing a fare refusing a customer … I’ve had just as many white Australian drivers refuse me also … it’s not a racial thing make that clear … anyway it’s nice when I’m out with my friends in the past 

-you don’t have any friends

-no when I’m out with my mirror I holding a mirror in each hand and looks like I’ve got two friends!

-you are calling me on Skype

-yeah hey Abe

-Hi I’m Greg Hi I’m David … all my friends and you know you’re going to a bar or a night club and you say Hey man can you put some music on … you know cuz usually they’re listening to

-to the taxi driver you request

-yeah

-some music

-cuz they often listening to boring talk back radio

-you mean like talk shows on radio

-welcome back to 320FM today we’re talking about gardening … next call is Margaret … Margaret have you thought about those mag pies yet?

-I gotta fill it up. Oh it’s so cold

-oh wow … you finish your beer then you piss back into the same glass that you drank it from so the beer party never ends folks just keep coming through

… when they put on music you know just some party kind of music some techno some hip-hop to go in a party mood, sometimes they say yeah man! sometimes they say No!

-they say no?

-I’ve had some taxi drivers say no yeah 

-really?

-yeah party poopers we call them

-hey mate put on some music 

-come on yeah, put on the song about cookabara and the dingo!

-and the driver is like no!  you will sit my taxi and you’ll shut your stupid mouth

-close it!   we’re listening to Bollywood’s Finest!

-anyway having a good public transportation system and affordable taxis 

-yes

-that don’t refuse you is an important thing to stop people from drinking and driving 

-yeah and I will say there’s a lack of testing

-a lack of testing?

-it’s very very very rare to be stopped and tested for alcohol in Japan  it’s never happened to me and most... I’ve been driving in Japan for many years

and most Japanese people I’ve spoken to will say and have said they’ve never been tested in their life

-wow

-and it seems that only time you really get tested is if you’re involved in an accident 

-and by tested you mean take a breath test

-yes they say blow into this tube

-and you go

-and then it goes PPPPP

-yes and you have to blow a long time

-right and that test if you’ve been drinking or not

-yes that’s right and if you fail that test they take you to the police station or a bus and they give you a blood test which has happened to me … in Australia every corner has a test

-Let’s just explain what we are talking about is something we call road blocks

-right we call them booze buses

-okay

-which sounds really fun

-it sounds fun

-but it’s the opposite of fun

-okay so anyway in normal English it’s called a road block, where the police block the road and they talk to every driver it’ll usually happen on a Friday night or a Saturday night 

-usually yes

-and they’ll set up a road block close to where there are many bars and kind of drinking area

-sure

-and they’ll stop every car and just quickly ask a question

-Have you been drinking tonight?

-right

-and if you are sober and you say no not even a single drink

-then the officer will usually say you know he might smell a little bit or look at you and say okay go ahead! off you go

-really

-yes

-wow okay Canadian police

-well they don’t want to block the road completely

-right

-you know so they only test the people who look a little suspicious or when they can smell alcohol then they’ll say I’m sorry sir but please blow into this machine

-yes

-and they’ll be selective and they’ll kind of pick and choose who to test

-right

-and you’re saying that in Australia they test every person every driver?

-well no what they do is

-what if it’s an old grandma I was just visiting my grand son

-there’s the worst ones usually a combination of drugs and you know medicines

you know old people take a lot of medicine which makes it dangerous to drive

-I only had eight glasses of wine

-ten Valiums three oxycodone … I’m hippity hoppin all over the place!

… they’ll block a major road on a Friday or a Saturday night

and they create a separate lane using witch’s hats, or “cones”

-witch’s hat?

-yeah we call them witch’s hat

-are you talking about the orange traffic cones?

-orange traffic cones that’s the boring to

-in Australia you call those witch’s huts

-yes we do so they’ll set them up

-what a

-it’s witch’s hats for the booze bus

-first of all they’re orange

-yeah it’s not you know

-secondly

-secondly they look exactly like a witch’s hat

-witch’s hat? no because they’re square

-on the bottom

-yeah

-yeah a witch’s hat is round

-you can’t have a square brim on your witch’s hat? 

-no

-anyway I’m sure you can see where the name comes from

-here’s why I think it’s stupid because it takes much longer to say Witch’s hat than it does to say a cone

-yeah traffic safety cone that’s boring

-just a cone!

-anyway they divert traffic using witch’s hats or traffic safety cones into a separate lane

-those orange cones

-and they choose people at random so they’ll say … this car in this car keep going in in this car keeps going

-so it’s totally random

-totally random so when you’re approaching even if you haven’t been drinking you think oh no if they select you you pull in they check generally these days three things, number one you need to take a breath test there is no questions blow into this please number two these days a drug test where you have to lick…

-a drug test really?

-Yeah you have to lick a stick … not just a stick from a tree a tree branch

-lick this stick mate! … you did it you must be on drugs!

-he must be off his tits!

-are you crazy you just licked a stick

-I thought that was... I thought that means I’m good

-you lick some special testing stick

-It looks like a popsicle

-yes and it changes color

-then you must be using drugs

-oh no

-and thirdly they’ll check if you have any unpaid fines or

-wow

-warrents yeah

-they really check you

-they put you through the ringer

-oh wow

-they give you a hard time

-put you through the ringer that means to thoroughly carefully kinda check you -check you really closely and intensely yeah

-okay

-it’s not much fun

-no it sounds like a huge pain in an ass if you get selected

-yes it’s horrible

-Canadian way is like Hi there have you had any drinks?  okay go ahead

Hi there have you had any drinks?  okay go ahead

Hi there what did you have for drink tonight?

Are you sure was only one glass of wine sir? please pull over here

-okay

-yeah

-much better

-maybe they do random as well

-maybe they don’t have enough witch’s hats

-Cones!

-Cones...

-they’re cones

-okay

-in my cauldron boil and bubble!  A witch’s brew

-Alright contact us

-yeah.  get in touch

-if you want to hear about something just let us know

-yeah

-we’re opened to take on topics from listeners

-Feed back you liked it or you loved it and any questions that you might have

-five stars

-five stars

-or six stars?

-oh six little witch’s hats

-sorry only five stars

-only five five is the maximum

-it’s the minimum and the maximum

-You might wanna give ten cuz you love it

-yeah exactly

-leave two 5-star reviews

-nice idea Abe

-yes well it has been fun

-It is always fun

-I’m going to enjoy the rest of this cold beer and you are going to drive home completely sober

-and go to work the opposite of drinking cold beers working

-I’ll be woking too

-You’ll be working but with beers inside you I should make you blow into a stick … I should make you blow my stick

-you want me to lick …

-lick my

-lick your dirty stick?

-lick my booze my alcohol stick 

-no thank you

-lick my little drug stick

-no thank you

-okay next time